Work with all your heart.

I'm pretty sure by now that my long-time readers know about my faith, but if I'm being totally honest, some days I am not a great Christian. I sin, I fall short, I say things I shouldn't say. Sometimes I get angry at slow drivers, have a short temper with those I love most, and I question God's will for my life (more than I'd like to admit).

Another thing you should know about me is that I have a passion for photography and that Caleb and I own a business together. There was this one wedding in particular when we were first getting started that meant we would have to miss an event with friends/family. To be totally honest, I let the bitterness build up inside me that entire week leading up to it, knowing every one else had a day off to do whatever they wanted, and annoyed (even though we loved what we did) that we would spend that whole day working and on our feet, exhausted by the end of it.

Then I opened my Bible app and wouldn't you know it, I saw exactly what I needed to see. It was a much needed slap in the face. God was whispering His truth to me that morning. 

The whole version is this: Colossians 3:23-24: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

When I actually think about going through the motions of my day (whatever it is; work or play) and doing each and every single thing FOR THE LORD, and not for man or for myself, I can do it all with a little more joy in my heart. NOTHING that we do is insignificant. God can use you, even when you think it's "too small".

I don't care if you're...

taking photos,
flipping burgers,
typing essays,
cleaning toilets,
answering phone calls,
studying for hours
responding to emails,
making coffee,
feeding your kiddos,
driving a truck,
writing music,
making websites,
giving manicures,
scooping ice cream,
or watering plants.

What you do has significance. What you do and how you spend your time has purpose. I now go into each and every day at work, as well as weddings on the weekends, with a different perspective. The seemingly small actions that I do throughout the day is potential to serve. Like when I offer a client coffee to enjoy in our lobby while they wait for their appointment. Or on a wedding day when I help button up a brides dress, or when Caleb offers to pin all of the groomsmen's boutonnieres because no one quite knows how to properly.

IT ALL MATTERS. No matter how small it may seem in the moment, God can use you. You can spread joy in any situation. Give it a try :) I hope this encouraged you today to see that you are part of something bigger than yourself.

December, I'll do my best.

Now that both Halloween and Thanksgiving are behind us, we are in full-fledged Christmas mode. I honestly can't believe its December already! This year has flown by. With a new month comes a new set of goals and a clean slate. Thank goodness for that because I flopped HARD in November on my fitness related goals. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, because we all know that "life happens", but with my in-home morning workout both yesterday and today, I'm feeling pretty motivated to continue moving forward with this healthier lifestyle!

In the month of December I want to simply try my best. That might sound really generic to you, and like a cop out, but I know what it means to me.

It means I'm going to do my best job to be the best wife (best friend, best sister, etc.) that I can be. To do a better job of encouraging and supporting my loved ones in every situation they find themselves in. To be the friend that sends random notes of encouragement and love to my favorite people for no other reason than to just make them smile.

It means I want to do a better job at treating my body right. That means earlier mornings and healthier snacks. Time to swap those delicious hershey kisses for some plain almonds, I can do this!

It means putting my all into these last few weddings we have to edit. We only have 1 more wedding to photograph for the year, and its going to be a very early morning for us Saturday! However, we want to go out with a bang and I'm excited to photograph in the early morning of December!

It means recognizing people around me with needs. Whether or not there are things I can do to help these people, I can always be praying for them. God has really been speaking to me lately about helping those in need. It truly just motivates me to get out of debt so we can be one step closer to blessing our loved ones, and complete strangers!

It also means spending more time in the Word. I truly feel better in EVERY aspect of my life when I make God a number one priority in my every day life. It naturally makes me a better friend, a better wife, and a better version of myself. I don't believe that's a coincidence, either.

A few fun "just because" goals?

To enjoy our little Christmas tree as much as possible.
Finish all of our family Christmas shopping by next week.
Pick a few delicious dessert recipes for when I hang at my Aunt's next weekend!
Take too many Polaroid photos, per the usual.
Pick an outfit for both the company Christmas parties coming up.
Win a couple more fantasy football games. I don't want to fall behind! ;)

I hope everyone has some fun goals to shoot for this month! Enjoy your Tuesday!

Putting ourselves down {and a small challenge}

Recently, I've felt very blah. Hard to explain...but I just haven't been my usual happy, peppy self. I kind of feel plain, tired, etc. I know part of it has to do with my lack of exercise and eating healthy, but I can't quite put my finger on what's been going on.

Sometimes I'll see photos of myself and immediately roll my eyes, ugh, lets try that again. I mean, its ridiculous. I've noticed I've been putting myself down a lot lately. Not even out loud, but quietly to myself. I hadn't put much thought into it until I shot an engagement shoot on Tuesday and the girl kept talking about how she can't stand photos of herself, how she's not photogenic at all, worrying about a tiny gap in her teeth that no one but her would ever notice. I kept insisting that she looked amazing (cause helloo, she did!), and that she needed to stop being so hard on herself.

SMACK! It was like I was talking to myself. Why do we think its alright to put ourselves down like crazy, all day, without thinking twice? Yet when someone else does it to themselves, we think its outrageous! I wish for one little day, I could talk to myself the way I'd talk to others, and truly mean it. Wake up in the morning and be totally satisfied with what I saw in the mirror.

It's an internal struggle and I know its silly...but hey, everyone's got issues. I also realize that I'm not totally honoring God when I treat myself this way. When I treat my body like crap, then put myself down? I'm definitely not acting as if He created me in His image, am I?

Genesis 1:27; "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them"

There are a few people I see quite often that I get a little uncomfortable around due to nothing other than pure envy. It's absolutely absurd. I've confided in my mom about this lately and she could hardly believe it. I'll just see this one woman and immediately feel intimidated. She can run faster than I can. She's got better hair than me. She's so talented at everything!! Yadda yadda yadda. Please don't judge me for this next sentence, but one time, I was almost looking for something to be wrong with her to simply make myself feel better.

WOW! Okay guys, that was super vulnerable and I need you to stick with me. Please...

I realize its insanely sinful and horrible to have thoughts like that. It's literally like the Devil is whispering in my ear all these lies that he wants me to believe, and I genuinely do, most days. But my perspective has changed the past couple days. I've spent more time than usual in the Gospel lately and it makes me remember that this isn't the way God intended for community/friendships to be. We are called to lift each other up, encourage one another, etc! We are to love our neighbors and KNOW OUR OWN WORTH! It's insanely hard for me to wrap my mind around God's grace but I'm so thankful for it every single day.

I want every single woman to KNOW how much God loves them, and to KNOW how beautiful and unique every one of you are! Beauty is so much more than an outer appearance, its about how we treat people, how we react to difficult situations, how we give of our time and energy. This verse makes me smile from ear to ear and I hope it makes you remember how beautiful you are today;

She is more precious than jewels; And nothing you desire compares with her. {Proverbs 3:15}

I'm also insanely thankful for a husband who treats me like a precious jewel and makes me feel his love on a daily basis, and reminds me of God's love for me.

We've all got flaws...but they are beautiful, and unique, and we need to learn to embrace them. 

So I have a challenge for you... on this random Thursday, as you read this. I want you to comment with one thing you LOVE about yourself. It can be your amazing hair, your sense of humor, or something more specific. I want this to be a post of positivity!! Next, I want you to get a hold of someone you love...your mom, your sister, your best friend...and pay them a random compliment. It could just be the positive shift they needed in their day. Ready? GO!

Life is freakin hard.

As I sit down to write this, I'm kind of at a loss for words. If it was either from my somewhat vague Instagram's, or my lack of blog posting lately...you were probably inclined to think my family has been going through something lately. Well, its true.

I'll never understand why certain things happen the way they do. I often wonder why God allows some extremely painful experiences into our lives. Then I remember that there is no point in worrying. God has me in His hands. To inform you, I won't be sharing on my blog what happened last week, because frankly, its not my story to share. But it's tested my faith in ways I never thought possible. Then it hit me; God allows things into our lives to make us stronger.  To make us better. To prepare us for a future only He can see. To use our story to help others one day...and THAT gives me hope, friends.

If you know me at all, you know I'm an extremely optimistic person. I don't usually stay upset for too long, and I can brush things off rather easily. The only way I made it through last week was by the grace of God...and because of my amazing husband. Never have I ever understood what I did to deserve such an amazing man. He held me while I cried, he cheered me up when I needed it, but most importantly? He was PRESENT. Most of the time there weren't actual words that could comfort me, because the situation we were put in was downright ugly. Yet having him there along the way made me feel better, all week long. He's seriously an angel.

So all of this to say that I can't thank my friends and family enough for helping me through it. Even those who have no idea what's going on, have still tried to come to the rescue anyway. I have literally felt covered in prayer the last seven days, and that's just what I needed. I received so many kind gestures and seriously can say that each one brought tears to my eyes! I know I've been pretty absent in the last week but I just could't put on a "face" and blog about happy stuff when life felt anything but that. However, last week is over, I'm moving on. Things have happened that can't be undone, but we're praying for God to do something big in this situation, because I know that He can! If you've got things going on your life... know that you aren't alone! You CAN pull through this, because you're strong, you're beautiful, and you're a child of God.

I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds tomorrow.

I didn't get a long weekend, but...

...yesterday was so slow at work, so the day was so easy! Half the office took a vacation day to extend their weekend, so the few of us that were there just took it easy! I did some grocery shopping on my lunch break, and tried to resist all the donuts in the break room.

Like I said on my instagram yesterday, I'm the first to admit that Caleb and I haven't put God as our first priority every single day of our marriage. It's so easy to get caught up in the everyday stresses of life and forget to pray together, and really TALK together about important, deep topics. So when he showed up while I cooked dinner (aka- boiling all beef hot dogs) with this sweet surprise, I was so excited. We said we'd start it soon, but little did I know that same night we would read 41 pages of it together. By the end of it, I was already feeling insanely challenged in our marriage. It forced us to talk about things we'd never really talked about before...and it kind of made me giddy. Having a "new" topic of conversation with my husband? I can't explain the happiness it brought me.

Rewind a couple days - our weekend was super low key. I had a sleepover with the ladies of the youth group and we sang our lungs out for hours, and they finally got me to watch Divergent. I was pleasantly surprised by it! Then the next afternoon, we celebrated our favorite 4 year old for her birthday party! I can't even express how much I love this little gal. Unfortunately, the party was so "busy", we didn't get our turn with her sweet little (nearly 3 month old) sister, Charlotte...so I guess that just means we have to go back soon for extra snuggles!! ;) 

I hope you guys all had a great weekend! Do anything fun?

On not feeling good enough.

If you saw my Instagram post the other day, you already know what I'm about to say...but lately? I've had multiple meltdowns about this. Not feeling adequate, idiotically seeking approval from everyone, and just feeling like no matter how hard I work, I can never get ahead. 

Some days I feel like I rock at life, other days I feel like I've been hit BY a rock. Certain days I'm an amazing friend, but a less than perfect wife. Other days I get my extreme cardio workout in, yet fail to read my daily passages. But what's the worst? The way I continuously guilt myself about not being 'perfect' or 'good enough'...feeling like maybe God was disappointed in my attitude, personality, etc. It was super crummy, and a bit dramatic on my part.

It's in those moments that I realize how absolutely ridiculous and selfish my thoughts have been. Why would God allow me to BE this exhausted?! Why do I feel like I can't get ahead?! Then I had a wake up call. God chose to bless ME with an amazing marriage that would lift me up when I was feeling down, TWO jobs to provide extra income for bills and our debt payoff, friends and family to remind us how loved we are. Sure, we all have our 'off' days where we complain here and there about our situation,s but I'm truly trying to get better at that. 

One thing that I'm also trying to get better at is to stop wishing for someone else's circumstances and love where I am, in that moment. Sure, I may not be out of debt yet...but I'm only 23. Sure, I don't have my degree yet, but through that God has taught me patience...and yes, my mom moved away from us a few years ago and never looked back but you know what? That single act made me a stronger person, that I didn't even know I had in me. God allows ALL things to happen to us for some purpose, even if we never truly figure out what it is.

I was in tears the other night praying for the countries around the world who don't have the right to freely believe whatever they choose without fear of being persecuted for it...for the parents who can't provide even enough food for their children, let alone themselves, every night. For the women who have been traded as if they were an item...and to think, I'VE got it bad?! No way.

Sure, I get exhausted from my 9-5 job, which sometimes leaves me drained and feeling too exhausted to enjoy my second job, that is, my passion. Yes, there are days when Caleb and I eat salami roll ups and popcorn for dinner, and we go to bed with unfolded laundry all over the apartment, because *breaking news*...we aren't perfect. But you know who is? My amazing Savior. He created ME, intentionally, with a purpose... and on the days where that's hard to remember? I just read one of my favorite passages; I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I am not perfect, & some days I screw up, but I'm thankful for people to remind me of God's grace when I need it. Hope this uplifts you, friends! It's almost Friday!!