It's just a season.

It happened. The anxiety attack I've been fearing for a while. It crept up like a thief... and really frightened me. This isn't me, I thought. I didn't know what was happening...and its not like this happens a lot, or ever, but there I was, trying to fall asleep next to my husband, and I couldn't control my breathing. Then I start trying to speak and let him know I wasn't sure why I felt like this...and then came the tears. It made no sense to me?! He had no idea what to do, other than hold me and tell me to just cry it all out. Cause sometimes? That's all you can do...even when it makes no sense.

Let me tell you a little something about my life - its insanely busy. It kind of makes me laugh when people have to tell me just how busy I am, like I'm not aware or something. I work full time by day, shoot weddings on the weekends and meet with couples in the evenings for consultations, timeline prep, engagement shoots, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love every second of it...but some nights? The Devil tricks me into thinking that this is how it will always be, that somehow I can't handle all of it...and that I'm going to royally screw up eventually.

The silver lining to being busy right now? I know it won't last forever. Caleb and I KNEW 2015 would be one of our busiest, most insane years. We're paying off a ton of debt and working our tails off...and while we do enjoy it and this photography business is our passion, it's proving to be incredibly tiring! But that's what you have to do sometimes...work extremely hard & get extremely tired. One of my best friends told me this week, to make sure that EVERY SINGLE DAY I am doing something that will get me closer to my dreams, and a lot of the time? That means hard work. Dang, I have smart friends.

So I'm here to ask for prayer...and for a little accountability. Caleb said I need to schedule "me-nights"... nights where I come home from work and leave my laptop in its bag; no editing, no emails, no phone calls, etc...and just be. It's funny to me that I'd never thought of scheduling nights off...like it wasn't a possibility? This insanely tiring year has already taught me so much about myself, but its also teaching me a lot about prioritizing, and I love that.

Being in the thick of something is hard, no matter what it is... but the reward is always worth it.

shameless wedding photo because I'm happy in this photo and I love my dress.

He's a smart man...and I'm glad I listened to him. I'm promising myself that starting next week, I'm going to be better about making time for ME! Maybe I should start with a hair appointment? My girl Becca is almost back from maternity leave and I'm excited that I'm going back to blonde. I truly feel like its more me and to be honest? I just kinda miss it! I'm ready for summer!! ;)