It's no secret that Caleb and I, for the majority of our marriage, have been pretty busy people. With each of us juggling full time day jobs, a photography business, church commitments and a young adult ministry, it's a lot! That's not even to mention keeping our marriage and social calendar alive! A lot of that had to do with the fact that we knew it was temporary, which is key. We knew that in order to get out of debt quickly (within a few years), we'd have to hustle - work hard - take on a LOT of jobs. While this was true, we also didn't realize what a toll it would take on us. I knew it was getting bad when before anyone would ask us to commit to something (even a social event) they'd preface the sentence with "now I KNOW how busy you guys are, but...", and that broke my heart.
Last year is when we knew it was time to make a change. As I mentioned before, we started our own photography business, and that gave us a little more freedom to run our own schedules. I decided for my own mental health/sanity that it was necessary to only allow ourselves X amount of projects a month, no matter how much money we may lose out on.
We also decided to say no to some church commitments here and there. As much as we hated to say no when it came to volunteering, I realized that it didn't make us bad people. No one expects anyone to say yes to everything, so why was I setting this unrealistic expectation for us that we HAD to?! What was so freeing is when we actually began to politely decline, people surprised us with answers like "that's totally fine!" or "hey, thanks for at least considering!". There were no hard feelings, and my soul felt a little more free each time.
I began to see how much more available I became to not only my friends and my husband, but to Jesus, most importantly. I was able to spend my mornings in prayer, instead of rushing to get out of the door. I began to have less "clutter" on my calendar, and more intentional hangouts with my friends. Nights that used to be filled with rushing around after work were now being spent in comfy clothes and a messy bun, actually making a good dinner and spending time at the table with Caleb.
Lysa Terkeurst is one of my favorite Christian authors/speakers and she wrote a book called The Best Yes where she said "If I really want an unrushed life, I must underwhelm my schedule, so God has room to overwhelm my soul". DANG!
I'm amazed at how much I've changed in just the few years we've been married. Not in some dramatic, life altering way, but just in the small things. I'm waking up everyday asking God to help me be the best ME I can be that day, to not get caught up in the hustle of hard work, and to just be.
I hope you can take some time this week to slow down, and be more aware of how you spend your time, and how it makes you feel. We all have the same amount of hours in our days, let's make them count! :)
This is me to a tee! My parents have instilled a solid work ethic into me over the years and I have been working ever since I was 13-14. Now that I'm done university and newly married, I am working a full time job plus a part-time job 3 evenings a week. I constantly feel like I'm overwhelmed and juggling a million things at once. This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank-you!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to your super busy schedule. The year after I got married...I worked 40+ hours a week + photography gigs on the weekend. There were weekends where I would have 4-5 gigs - and then I would spend the rest of the week editing them and then trying to fit in all my marriage/social events around it. It was definitely exhausting (which is why I stopped doing it...well that and the baby!) but that 2 years of hustling put so much money in my pocket and allowed us to be in a much better financial situation today. So glad you're on a good path and knowing when to slow things down!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm in awe of your super busy schedule, but love that you limit your additional projects which is super important. You always seem to be having so much fun <3
ReplyDeleteGreen Fashionista
This has been on my heart lately, too!
ReplyDeleteI love this! Such a great statement - I think I need to check out that book!
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those people who before even TEXTING you something I think "Ugh, but they are so busy....." Ha! I'm glad you guys are getting into the place in life you want to be and CAN be, and that you're taking time for yourselves and for Jesus- amen sister!!! Best Yes changed my life.
ReplyDeletei'm glad you guys are slowing down and relaxing more, taking time for yourselves and other things you want to do. everyone is different of course, but you have to do what works for you and makes you happy (and sane!). i am not a busy person, i do not thrive at all, i need downtime/relaxing/no plans lol. i do better when my schedule is less full, which thankfully it is 90% of the time.
ReplyDeleteSuch a good book!!! So glad y'all are making the decision to slow down, and take time for each other and The Lord. These are the little things that you will look back on in the future and be like, "wow, I'm so glad we made that change."!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo pleased to know you two are making time for more personal intentions. Love you little ones.
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