Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The ugly stuff.

Last night, as I edited wedding pictures galore...I got bummed that I had yet to prepare my post about Caleb's birthday weekend. Then I remembered, its okay. So what? I'm not prepared. Which is just one thing about myself I'm not always proud of, that I sometimes procrastinate, cause we all have stuff. You know, the kind of stuff we don't shout from the rooftops about ourselves.
The stuff that we'd probably be judged on.
The stuff, sometimes silly, sometimes weird, sometimes ugly, that we'd like to keep hidden.

Such as....


-I was a completely different person in high school. I'd still like to think I was a sweet girl, but my morals just weren't intact. Frankly, I didn't have many. I "fell in love" (whatever that means to a 15 year old girl), and lost myself in him. I became miserable, very quickly. Along came Caleb, who saved me from that life and showed me what it meant to truly be in love.

-I once had glasses and braces at the same time. Not just braces, but a retainer that covered the entire roof of my mouth that I had to TURN a knob on NIGHTLY so my jaw would widen....super sexy.

-I had one big freak out moment mid-wedding planning. Caleb found me in my walk-in closet, crying, holding fabric swatches..terrified our wedding colors wouldn't come together like they did in my head.

-I had (accidental) yellow tiger stripe high lights when I was in 6th grade. My friends never let me forget that.

-I'm kind of sensitive, and I over think everything. It bites me in the butt, all the time.

-I am bad at saying "no", especially to friends.

-I'm not always comfortable in my own skin. I find myself comparing myself to other girls a lot. I know, its so silly, we are all beautifully made.

All of this stuff doesn't have to define me, but so often I find myself down about these things. & then, there's those special people that come along in your life that have found out all of your ugly stuff, and yet love you anyway. The friends and family who will encourage and support you in your dreams, and let you know everyone makes mistakes.

I'm so thankful to have not one, not two, and not even only three...but TONS of people in my life to encourage me when I need it, celebrate through life's accomplishments, cry with me when I'm down, and remind me of how beautiful my life is. I'm so blessed. Remember, we all have stuff...but its choosing how to handle the stuff that matters. Be positive. Stay happy. It's contagious.

Have a great Tuesday!

30 comments:

  1. Aw I love this so much. I am a super sensitive sally too and over-think everything. And I can't say no either. People pleasers unite?! Hahaha. Love this <3

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  2. The comparison one is HUGE for me. My fiance will say something like, "Carly Rae Jepson is beautiful" and I'll think "I LOOK NOTHING LIKE HER!" and instantly start trying to figure out what I need to do to look like some rando-starlette. Whoever invented insecurity needs to be body slammed.

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  3. If it makes you feel any better, I had tiger striped hair in college. hahaha. You've seen my hair...can you even imagine that??? I definitely learned my lesson on that one!! :)

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  4. Love those last two lines! The comparison thing is SO me and I go through waves of being secure I feel like. But I'm lucky I have so many reminders that I am a great me and I can't let myself go too far down negative nancy lane!

    I can't wait to have these heart to hearts when we hang out..I just have a feeling it'll happen..with wine being involved! :P

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  5. I HAD ONE OF THOSE RETAINERS TOO. made me hate Sunday nights. my mom made it into a Christmas ornament. she said that if they spent so much money on it, she was going to keep it!

    annnyway, clearly not the point of this post but girl, I was right there with ya also sporting glasses at the time. WOOF.

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  6. I'm very sensitive too, I definitely overthink to the point of trying to figure out... WHY?! but sometimes our faults can actually be a good thing. I had bad hair once or maybe 5 times!

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  7. Um, how did I not know about your tiger stripes?! I had them too. Seriously.

    I LOVE YOU and life ain't always pretty, but I'm glad I have you to keep it real with, always! MUAH!

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  8. I find it's good that we acknowledge our flaws, or some of our "uglier" habits, because that can help us to overcome them or look past them while we recognize the good things! You are a beautiful person, Kayla!

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  9. It is difficult for me to say no to friends also! I'm not sure why. Oh and I totally had braces but my teeth are becoming crooked again. 23 year old with braces? I hope not.

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  10. We ALL have ugly stuff, and I know you know that. I'm also super sensitive and overthink a lot. In college I had a frizzy perm and put Sun-in in my hair which turned it an unflattering orange. I'll put that on the blog sometime.

    I didn't have braces but I had super thick glasses forever. I finally got contacts in 10th (?) grade and I remember my mom giving me some BS about how she had asked me years earlier about contacts but I said I didn't want them. Um, are you kidding? No chance, Mom. (I likely won't be sharing that on my own blog because she gets all defensive and that's annoying.)

    Sorry for the rambling. LOL

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  11. I think a lot of people, including myself, needed to hear this this morning. Thanks for the positivity and I think we could all stand to embrace our flaws at times. Oh and don't worry, I had braces from 7th - 10th grade WITH a retainer that covered half of my top teeth. Can you say horrible?!

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  12. I enjoy when bloggers "come clean" about who they are! it makes you SO real. :) And def relatable! I think we all get wrapped up in high school relationships and change your life around it because you think its your forever. I did. and I regret it! But we are all happy now and we had to go through the bad to get to the very very good ;)

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  13. let me find the pictures of my bowl cut that i rocked for like 5 years, you'll feel a little better....I know how easy it is to get down on yourself but think of all the amazing things you are good and successful with..like your photography and your healthier new lifestyle.

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  14. I'm pretty sure we might be the same person.

    Love this post! Keep being you!

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  15. I think this title should be the not-so-ugly stuff because it is everything that makes you, YOU AND you are one fabulous lady!!

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  16. This is one of my favorite posts from you....a gorgeous picture of one of my favorite people, and lots of *real* things about her! I'm so glad we're not the same as we were in high school...thank goodness for that. Life is all about changing and progressing...and if they come any better than you, I'd like to meet them!

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  17. Such a great message and so true. I could write a novel of my "stuff" and I often struggle with dealing with those things, but it's important to remember how lucky I am. It only makes matters worse to constantly get bogged down by those things.

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  18. There you go again...being so sincere, candid, real and adorable!! You are one blessed lady to be where you are in life....so happy and surrounded by people who adore you...including me!! :)

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  19. Hey now! Blogging isn't everything! I love it but I'd rather enjoy my life than miss out because I wanted to have a post on time! Glad you are having fun, glad you have an awesome man, and so glad for this new job of yours that you clearly love!

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  20. You are beautiful! Everyone has a past but that doesn't define who we are, it just helps shape who we are today. We learn and grow from our past. I really feel that a person's past helps them appreciate what they have now so much more... I know that's how it is for me. Caleb sounds like an amazing guy and you are lucky to have each other! :)

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  21. I had glasses and braces in high school, and to top it off, A BACK BRACE for scoliosis. It probably couldn't have gotten any worse! :) I'm glad those days are over!

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  22. I love this post so much. I need this to be a once a month link up so I can let go of all the things that you just mentioned. hehe Love you so much friend. You are just such an amazing woman that I am so thankful to call my friend.

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  23. Love this. I'm way too sensitive and always over plan everything. I blame it on my Type A personality. Haha. Thanks for sharing and being real.

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  24. I'm horrible at saying now too. I feel like an awful person and tell myself that people wouldn't expect me to say yes so much if I just said no once in a while, but then I feel like a jerk. Duh me.

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  25. Great post and this is so true! We all have stuff, but as long as we handle it and rise above we can become stronger and happier people! Happy Tuesday!

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  26. All that ugly, embarrassing stuff makes us who we are. Honestly, if not for all the ugly, embarrassing stuff that Josh and I have in our past, we probably wouldn't be together, because we wouldn't know what to appreciate in a spouse. PS. I miss you and our e-mails. I haven't been in the office much, but we need to catch up! SOON!

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  27. Kayla, you are such an incredible person. I actually can relate to you a lot. Its funny but I already look back on life just a few years ago and I'm like "wow, I'm a completely different person." And I definitely over think everything too.

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  28. Awh Kayla! You're absolutely beautiful and you have the heart of gold. Great post, keep being who you are our quirks are what make us the unique individuals we are. As for who we were back in high school, we've all changed at least some mostly for the best. Be happy with you you've become, because you're right you are beautifully made.

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  29. I struggle with so many of those same things too! It's hard not too, and really everyone has their own struggles, but how we deal with them and learn from them makes us who we are.

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Thanks for your comments, I read and respond to every single one of them! :) Excited to get to know you!